So, there are a few things I forgot to say about Greg.
One, when we "got back together" I forgot how deep and sexy his voice is, as well as how well we "fit" together. Our proportions are, like, made for each other and we just feel really good together. Also, I forgot that we do this silly thing where we like, just kinda say m-hmm a few times after we settle into one another. He forgot how much time I spend on the toilet lol. I gently reminded him as one of the self-selected saviors of mankind, it is my body's duty to "pass" much of humanity's "sin", and excretion is one of the/my main functions toward this end, physically and in many other ways. Also, I forgot that when I fart, which is like 500 times a day (that's also part of my "passing" stuff for humanity) he almost always says Thank You, like some kind of ass-obsessed, butt-slut lunatic!!! Which is, like, soooooo fucking funny to me!
Anyway, to business: I think I figured out why "they" let Greg "stay" in my life. I used to think it was because "they" thought it'd be a kick to watch "one of their own" (an older, white guy) "do me hard" (cuz he diddddddd/does). But then it seemed there were so many opportunities for them to get between us all those times we broke up and especially when I ran off on walkabout occasionally, and I thought that they might think it was more of a "kick" to watch me crumble as my last real love and lifeline and like, human touchstone was torn from me. For Greg would surely crumble under the kind of weight these fools pull. I mean, he freaks out about noise, for Christ's sake. If I drop a plate, and it doesn't even shatter, he'll, like, come running and be like a) what happened? b) are you ok? and c) wtf??? He doesn't break any laws, works hard at work and like, expects other to, too, and when I pick a thing up in a store and then set it down, he'll almost always pick it up and take it back to where it belongs, like some annoyingly fastidious store-saint or some shit. There is NO WAY the man could stand up to the brutal, nefarious, omniscient force threatening him to stay away from me in any way.
So what gives? I've really been wonder lately. Why him? Why the Gregster? Why did this simple, ex-carpenter, store clerk who sells "quality tools" all day, retail, make it past these fools when no one else did??? Cuz these jerks even got to my erstwhile best friend lately, after I offered her my place when I thought to move out after Greg and I called it quits last. She just left her husband but really had nowhere to go and as a sex-slave-projection living "in the graveyard" (Riverside in Gainesville) I thought I'd help her out of her hole and give her mine lol. I wish. I actually DID want her to be more than my friend, and Greg and I were kinda courting her, desiring a thruplet kinda thing, but alas, it was not to be (yet!! 🤞). I guess the fuckers thought this was "too good" an idea from me that would thwart their sex-salve-magic agenda for her, as well as enable me to move away from my voodoo fuck neighbors (who plague my ass allllll day) for them to let it go down like that. :(
Anyway, I've been wondering why Greg. The best I can come up with is he's dead. Lol. Yeah, that's all I had for a while. He's a huge Deadhead, he's way into routine and his life does seem kinda "dead", he lives in the past and like, for the past, he has almost no contacts except his fellow employees and occasional concert-goers, and idk, he's old and "close to death"? And really, I don't even know why being dead, or symbolically so, would even cause him to be exempt from my cabal bullies. This is all theory and conjecture, mere speculation if you will lol. But last night, things got a little more... definitive?
So, we were having sex (!). Really, really good sex, even for us (who are likely better than most-right now at least). He did this new thing where instead of just holding himself up over me in a kind of push up position, he held my arms down, too. WHICH WAS SO HOT, and idk why we haven't done that before. Idk why no one else has ever done that to me either. It seems very natural and likely to happen, right? I mean, their hands are right there, my arms are right there, I like to be restrained, what gives? Whyfor no happen yet? Idk, doesn't matter, cuz it did last night, and it was glorious. Anyway, that wasn't the thing, the thing was that I think this provided the context for a heightened sense of sensation. Idk, but we got even more into it than normal and it basically felt better for me than it ever has with anyone before. But wait, there's more! Because it must have done for him too, because eventually...he came inside me! Whatever, right? No bro. HE HAS NEVER DONE THIS. I know, unlikely, right? Idk either. He just doesn't do it. He says after 50 years of sex and with his older penis, he just needs more stimulation and pressure than even my young pussy can provide. Idk, its whatever to me, but last night he did itttttttttt. He did his whole moaning my name, sexy breathing, basically-screaming-thing right up in mah face! It was so, so hot and cool and medium temperature, too. Lol. It was grand. Really, really sexy. Because usually he won't even cum and if he does its pleasant effects for me are usually up there, with his face; while I'm getting the slightly less pleasant effects, down there, with my face. So, I can hardly experience his pleasure as I would like and definitely not like last night. It was just BOOM, fireworks man; sparklers on the Fourth of July; cannon fire shooting off; ticker tape parade shit. I wanted to throw a fucking party for our fucking. A fuck party, if you will. Anyway...
The things is, when I woke up the next morning and went to the bathroom, there was blood all up in my vagina! Like, period blood! Which was nuts, because part of the reason I decided it was fate-ish to get him back on Valentine's Day was my period had just finished, and it just seemed like a good idea, and I wanted to, and you know, sexy VALENTINE'S DAY times... So, basically, I had just had my period. And even weirder, I don't get my period like regular women and idk why at all. Most women get theirs every 28 days or so, with the moon cycle basically. I have never, once, tracked mine, but I know I get that thing like every 40 days because I used to freak the f out back in the day before I tied mah tubes (THANK GOD), thinking I was pregnant every time. I never was, and my period just kept coming on this weird, lengthened timetable. I guess my stuff is in sync with like, a half-year of Mercury instead of the moon??? 88 days cut in half? Who knows, but this "period" I'm having now is highly, highly unusual.
So, furthermore, what gives??? I figured, going off my theory that Greg is "dead" that this new instance of his sperm in me (which is also "dead" btw, he's sterile :) induced in me a certain amount of "death", too. Because a period is a "death", btw: it's a shedding of the endometrial lining because an egg is dying for that month and I'm pretty sure that's why it's called a period. I also feel that women who have particularly long or painful periods are sort of "paying out" their "unlived deaths" through their period blood in some way or something. That's why I, who deal in death, sleep in the graveyard, and am married to the dead, have very light periods, for very few days, with great space far between. Because I handle and dole out my death maybe more than is appropriate, but hey, I have "great" periods for all that "effort" lol.
Also, Greg's jizz felt differently than any other man's has on my junk: it was kinda activating, it kind of tingled. Which was odd, but interesting? Idk, but when I put this together with his half-demon eyes (cataract surgery with an implanted lens that makes his eyes kinda shine like some night-demon), tendency toward a dead-seeming life, his really well-preserved body, and obsession with the Grateful Dead, plus some other stuff like his getting me sick af recently when I NEVER get sick, and this weird pimple I got on my labia right before we broke up last, I have decided that it's more than Greg being "dead". Based on these things, and kinda how we began with his pursuing me so hard it was like I was captive to him (plus how I had no one else and couldn't get anyone else anyway cuz of cabal), I have now decided he is not only dead, but he is also King of the Dead. Greg is some sort of projection of Hades, Lord of the Underworld, and I am Persephone, Princess of Spring and the Earth, whom he took captive and keeps every year through the winter. Plus, when I checked this book Persephone Station out of the library recently, I felt some kinda way...
Our matching skull candles... Obviously.
So, the kicker here, that started this whole narrative in my crazy -person mind, is that my ex-bestie, told me the main part of this Hades-Persephone story with him one time, which I never knew. Yes, Hades kidnapped Persephone and dragged her kicking and screaming down below, but after a while, she fell in love with him!! At some point, Ms. Springtime fell for Mr. Death and the lamb fell in love with the lion and day with night! It's really very touching and I quite identify. I do feel *a bit* like I was captive to Greg in the beginning because of a dearth of viable options, but then I DID fall in love with him!!! I was the springtime wind that blew through his life bringing love and flowers and art and beauty and design and like, organization and purpose? That may be overselling it, but probably not. I mean, the man hadn't had sex in five years, his apartment had no real furniture or art and certainly no design to speak of, and he had convinced himself he was unfit for relationship at all! I think it's fair to say that I brought the fair spring rain to his dry and deserted land. 🎕
Anyway, my whole entire point is this: somehow, and I really don't know how, this position of Hades, Lord of the Underworld, that Greg "occupies", has caused him to be "passed over" by the plague of cabal harassment that all my other associates have been subjected to. And for this I am ever so grateful. I guess you can't take down a God like that? Idk, but it would explain why he's sooo into me and why every so often, I feel like I get glimpses through him of the other side, like he'll say particularly poignant, timely stuff that feels like it comes from somewhere else. Plus, if I am some sort of Goddess/Messiah (?!!!) who is particularly interested in Death, wouldn't it make sense that I would be with, attract, and match vibes with the Lord of the Underworld??
Now, I love my Hades/Greg very much, but spring approaches and I am feeling as if I need to venture out again and seen what can be seen. Persephone must make the grass green again and the flowers grow and the air fair and soft for our budding world made new.
