On this day of the Prostitute, 13, I am going to make a list of things I do not fear. The Prostitute is renowned for her brazen bravery and (often) callous courage and so I will honor her with this list. Please take note:
I DO NOT FEAR:
death
God
being alone
going out alone
satan
the dark/the unknown
dancing (in public)
public speaking
nebulous, clandestine chicanery/machinations
MY PARENTS (or their demise)
Being "different, weird, or abnormal"
Heretics/heretical dogma
strangers
sex
love
rejection
sexual trespass
being "poor"
being "homeless"
being "sad/depressed"
anyone "different" than me
anything "weird" or "abnormal" or "out there"
Spies: corporate, government, religious, or otherwise
"Terrorists"
Corporate America (FUCK YOU AMAZON!!)
Capitalism
Communism
The "end of the world"
Midgets
Menstruation
Russia
China
Germany
North Korea
The UK
The King or Queen
Trump/The Antichrist
The Islamic world/nations/people
Revelation, aka my secrets being "known"
Weapons of any kind
Giving or receiving compliments
The post office
The dentist
The gynecologist
losing
winning
making people "feel bad"
making people "feel good"
expressing myself
asking for what I want/need/help
getting older
Being ugly
ugly people
Being fat
fat people
mentally-challenged people
physically-challenged people
Blindness
smart people
dumb people
cops (69)
any SECRET SOCIETY
any MAN
any WOMAN
any trans person
Homosexuals (GIMME)
Butt sex
anyone hitting on me or even offering to pay me for sex LOLOL
anyone ignoring me
Anyone invalidating my experience
any religion/god/angel/demon/spirit/ghost
violence itself
bad weather
changing plans
embarrassment
being locked up in any way (jail, psych ward, alien abduction, etc...)
stasis
change
the government
politicians, lawyers, or doctors
Streets/cities/countries unknown to me
not knowing where I am/being lost
being misunderstood
misunderstanding
Homeless people
Sick people
Dying people
wearing outrageous fashions and having everyone stare at me everywhere I go, all day long
therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists
drugs
crime
the "ghetto"
reality
Unreality
Consciousness
Unconsciousness
Subconsciousness
Any and all bodily functions/fluids/substances
Breaking shit/fucking shit up/fucking up
Losing shit
Confrontation
Conflict
Yelling and screaming
Shock therapy (been there, bitch, and it can absolutely EAT A DICK)
Dogs
Cats
Any animal, really
The past
The present
The future
Food
Carbs
Fat
Sugar
Dirt
"Going" outdoors (I actually like this...)
Germs
Illness
Old people
Young people
Hot people
Famous people
Mean people
People being mean
Penises or sucking them
Vaginas or eating them
Boobies
Going bald
Blood
Car problems
New things
New ideas
Old things
Changing my mind
Being "wrong"
Being "bad"
Eating with my hands (I usually do)
Any element: fire, water, air, wood, earth, metal
Being called: crazy, slutty, bitchy, mean, a cunt, unhinged, dangerous, violent, or any insult/qualifier, really
Big words
Bugs: spiders, fleas, ticks, mosquitos, cockroaches, or flies
Snakes, frogs, n lizards
Organization
Disorganization
Karma
Betrayal
Being "out of control"
Not having the internet/a cell phone
The Pope, any priest, or Catholics in general
The church/mosque/temple
Not having an orgasm or not giving one
Dudes not getting it up
Good-byes
Breakups
Stuff I don't seek out, but am not "afraid" of
old, white men
Dark magic
the cold
being late
success
technology
math
Loud noises
money
Work
foreign languages
being the center of attention
PAIN or TORTURE or GIVING BIRTH (nah bro)
being "grown up"
Being "childish"
Demon possession
Sports/working out
"Bad" old ideas
Paucity or excess
Angry people
Spiritually-challenged people
Fame
Waiting
Shit I'm not "scared of" exactly, but won't do
Chemotherapy
Air travel
Bungee jumping
Heights
Scary movies
Spicy shit
Codependency
Vomiting
Alcohol
Basically, the all the worst/scariest stuff that happens in movies or books or whatever, has happened to me.
Your partner running after you with hate and violence in their heart, then catching up to you and beating the ever-loving shit out of you: happened to me. Your family "kicking you out" so you lose your "children" and have to spend all holidays, birthdays, and special occasions with others or alone ever afterwards: happened to me. Your evil-ass boyfriend breaking up with you at your favorite restaurant, when you're eating, and 19, and pregnant with his baby? Uh huh...
Cops pulling you over while you're high, with drugs in the car? Ya. Being put in jail in a strange county where no one knows you are?? YUP. Having your nice, old, Asian neighbor bump his way out of his driveway to avoid the cop-drama at your house as 50 rips your life apart??? YA, all dat.
Going through LAX high af with weed in your bag, pulling yourself aside to hide it in the inside, zip-up pocket of your ski jacket, and then going through security and they find it on the screen and giggle to one another at the dumb bitch white girl tryna sneak greenery through the airport... Yes, fool, I DID this and I MADE IT THROUGH UNSCATHED btw... :)))) can't stop, won't stop, too clever and ballsy...
Possessed by demons? Three times, baby, and now I have an exorcist on call... Jumping out a two-story window cuz you slept in an abandoned house and now it's surrounded? Sin miedo. Your dad beating the shit out of you in a car, so you can't get away, cuz he thinks you're "lazy", then telling everyone YOU hit him FIRST, and they believe him (cuz you're "crazy")? Uh, yea...
Rumors? Everyone talking about you?? Mono from making out with a Jewish guy at homecoming, then he tells everyone you jumped him (even though he asked his friends to find YOU), and everyone knows cuz you got all sick and missed a bunch of school??? Mmm hmmm.
Being harassed and made to be scared af on the plane ride up to jump out of that bitch, as you're strapped to a pervert when you jump out of a plane? Making like you're going to fuck a cop in an Italian train station bathroom because you thought he caught you smoking hash?? Being afraid of being raped your first time in a psych ward cuz u saw the movie Gothika and just had an abortion and know any sex could ruin you??? Ugh, yesssss.
Psych ward: crazy bitch hitting you in the face with her shoe cuz you "took her chair"; a crazy, red-headed dude peeing in your doorway... and then taking your Bible; having electricity run through your brain and body against your will and then waking up to brainwashing, celebrity-gossip tv? YA. BEEN THERE.
About to get an abortion and some well-meaning Asian lady is hissing in your ear that you "don't have to do this", as she tries to shove a needle into your too-small, dehydrated veins 100 times because you didn't know that you were going to be put under to get an abortion and needed to drink a bunch of water to pump up your veins, because you're 19 and pregnant with satan's baby????? YA BITCH. all that.
So, yes, I'm not afraid of much. 😅😌🥰
