Wednesday, January 3, 2024

I Ain't Scared




On this day of the Prostitute, 13, I am going to make a list of things I do not fear. The Prostitute is renowned for her brazen bravery and (often) callous courage and so I will honor her with this list. Please take note:


I DO NOT FEAR:

death

God

being alone

going out alone

satan

the dark/the unknown

dancing (in public)

public speaking

nebulous, clandestine chicanery/machinations 

MY PARENTS (or their demise) 

Being "different, weird, or abnormal"

Heretics/heretical dogma

strangers

sex

love

failure

Ignominy

Notoriety

rejection

sexual trespass

being "poor"

being "homeless"

being "sad/depressed"

anyone "different" than me

anything "weird" or "abnormal" or "out there"

Spies: corporate, government, religious, or otherwise

"Terrorists"

Corporate America (FUCK YOU AMAZON!!)

Capitalism

Communism

The "end of the world"

Midgets

Menstruation 

Russia

China

Germany

North Korea

The UK

The King or Queen

Trump/The Antichrist

The Islamic world/nations/people 

Revelation, aka my secrets being "known"

Weapons of any kind 

Giving or receiving compliments

The post office

The dentist

The gynecologist 

losing

winning

making people "feel bad"

making people "feel good"

expressing myself

asking for what I want/need/help

getting older

Being ugly

ugly people

Being fat

fat people

mentally-challenged people

physically-challenged people

Blindness

smart people

dumb people

cops (69)

any SECRET SOCIETY

any MAN 

any WOMAN 

any trans person

Homosexuals (GIMME)

Butt sex

anyone hitting on me or even offering to pay me for sex LOLOL 

anyone ignoring me

Anyone invalidating my experience 

any religion/god/angel/demon/spirit/ghost

violence itself

bad weather

changing plans

embarrassment

being locked up in any way (jail, psych ward, alien abduction, etc...)

stasis

change

the government

politicians, lawyers, or doctors

Streets/cities/countries unknown to me

not knowing where I am/being lost

being misunderstood

misunderstanding

Homeless people

Sick people

Dying people

wearing outrageous fashions and having everyone stare at me everywhere I go, all day long

therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists

drugs

crime

the "ghetto"

reality

Unreality

Consciousness

Unconsciousness

Subconsciousness

Any and all bodily functions/fluids/substances

Breaking shit/fucking shit up/fucking up

Losing shit

Confrontation

Conflict

Yelling and screaming 

Shock therapy (been there, bitch, and it can absolutely EAT A DICK)

Dogs

Cats

Any animal, really

The past

The present

The future

Food

Carbs

Fat

Sugar 

Dirt

"Going" outdoors (I actually like this...)

Germs

Illness

Old people

Young people

Hot people

Famous people

Mean people

People being mean

Penises or sucking them

Vaginas or eating them

Boobies

Going bald

Blood

Car problems

New things

New ideas

Old things

Changing my mind

Being "wrong"

Being "bad"

Eating with my hands (I usually do)

Any element: fire, water, air, wood, earth, metal

Being called: crazy, slutty, bitchy, mean, a cunt, unhinged, dangerous, violent, or any insult/qualifier, really

Big words

Bugs: spiders, fleas, ticks, mosquitos, cockroaches, or flies

Snakes, frogs, n lizards

Organization

Disorganization

Karma 

Betrayal

Being "out of control"

Not having the internet/a cell phone

The Pope, any priest, or Catholics in general

The church/mosque/temple

Not having an orgasm or not giving one

Dudes not getting it up

Good-byes

Breakups 



Stuff I don't seek out, but am not "afraid" of

old, white men

Dark magic 

the cold

being late

success

technology

math

Loud noises

money

Work

foreign languages

being the center of attention

PAIN or TORTURE or GIVING BIRTH (nah bro)

being  "grown up"

Being "childish"

Demon possession

Sports/working out

"Bad" old ideas

Paucity or excess

Angry people 

Spiritually-challenged people

Fame

Waiting



Shit I'm not "scared of" exactly, but won't do

Chemotherapy 

Air travel

Bungee jumping

Heights

Scary movies

Spicy shit

Codependency 

Vomiting 

Alcohol



Basically, the all the worst/scariest stuff that happens in movies or books or whatever, has happened to me. 

Your partner running after you with hate and violence in their heart, then catching up to you and beating the ever-loving shit out of you: happened to me. Your family "kicking you out" so you lose your "children" and have to spend all holidays, birthdays, and special occasions with others or alone ever afterwards: happened to me. Your evil-ass boyfriend breaking up with you at your favorite restaurant, when you're eating, and 19, and pregnant with his baby? Uh huh...

Cops pulling you over while you're high, with drugs in the car? Ya. Being put in jail in a strange county where no one knows you are?? YUP. Having your nice, old, Asian neighbor bump his way out of his driveway to avoid the cop-drama at your house as 50 rips your life apart??? YA, all dat.

Going through LAX high af with weed in your bag, pulling yourself aside to hide it in the inside, zip-up pocket of your ski jacket, and then going through security and they find it on the screen and giggle to one another at the dumb bitch white girl tryna sneak greenery through the airport... Yes, fool, I DID this and I MADE IT THROUGH UNSCATHED btw... :)))) can't stop, won't stop, too clever and ballsy...

Possessed by demons? Three times, baby, and now I have an exorcist on call... Jumping out a two-story window cuz you slept in an abandoned house and now it's surrounded? Sin miedo. Your dad beating the shit out of you in a car, so you can't get away, cuz he thinks you're "lazy", then telling everyone YOU hit him FIRST, and they believe him (cuz you're "crazy")? Uh, yea...

Rumors? Everyone talking about you?? Mono from making out with a Jewish guy at homecoming, then he tells everyone you jumped him (even though he asked his friends to find YOU), and everyone knows cuz you got all sick and missed a bunch of school??? Mmm hmmm.

Being harassed and made to be scared af on the plane ride up to jump out of that bitch, as you're strapped to a pervert when you jump out of a plane? Making like you're going to fuck a cop in an Italian train station bathroom because you thought he caught you smoking hash?? Being afraid of being raped your first time in a psych ward cuz u saw the movie Gothika and just had an abortion and know any sex could ruin you??? Ugh, yesssss.

Psych ward: crazy bitch hitting you in the face with her shoe cuz you "took her chair"; a crazy, red-headed dude peeing in your doorway... and then taking your Bible; having electricity run through your brain and body against your will and then waking up to brainwashing, celebrity-gossip tv? YA. BEEN THERE.

About to get an abortion and some well-meaning Asian lady is hissing in your ear that you "don't have to do this", as she tries to shove a needle into your too-small, dehydrated veins 100 times because you didn't know that you were going to be put under to get an abortion and needed to drink a bunch of water to pump up your veins, because you're 19 and pregnant with satan's baby????? YA BITCH. all that.

So, yes, I'm not afraid of much. 😅😌🥰