Dear Ms. Robin Ellise Beck,
I have long thought to do this, and I guess today is the day.
I am engaging in something of a reckoning in my life right now and this is
something I have wanted to do FOREVER, so here it is:
You hurt me so very deeply, one time, in Smith’s Olde
Bar, when I happened to be there- when all y’all popular kids flooded it that
time, and you would not “let me” smoke with you and Rebecca. If you don’t
remember, please, let me refresh your memory: I was talking to Ms. Rebecca
Gore, and you came up to “take her away” in the middle of our chat (itself a
rude gesture). I think you were going to smoke cigarettes and, being a
smoker at that time myself, I thought to join y’all. But when I said as much to
you two you TOTALLY BLEW ME OFF, grabbing Rebecca and saying “No, just
us”, and pulling her away, as if you were some high and holy arbiter of ultimate
social experience.
I was so stunned and hurt by your rude,
exclusive, and abrupt denial of my company that I said nothing- then. But
today I will no longer be silent, for if I am to see your name in my email
inbox from now on as liaison for our dear alma mater, I MUST speak to you about
this and settle it all in my mind:
You should not be this way, Robin.
You should not exclude and deny well-meaning people your presence, especially if it is not your presence they seek, but another's who is with you. And, I might add, you did not seem to want to “deny my presence” when you thrust yourself onto my lap and into Samuel Arnold’s car that time we were both at that senior party, in-I want to say-Florida?
You
were there because of your older sister, and I was there as Sam’s date and girlfriend;
and as the party was changing venues, you-completely uninvited-jumped into our
car, inviting yourself into our automobile, to "join us" on the trip over to the party’s new
venue.
I believe you were doing something along the lines of
scrambling to find an appropriate ride in this sea of seniors who were likely
none-too-excited to give you the ride you needed, because you were really
some interloping, hanger-on at the party anyway, just following in your sister’s
wake. I can imagine you only decided on this action out of necessity, my
being of a much “lower social status” in our own arena of sophomores, and so
therefore generally “unworthy” of having your rump on mine. However, seeing no
better option than this, and relying on the privilege your so-called “high social status”
might have afforded you in this situation, I’m sure you assumed I would be all too happy
to have the Future Prom Queen’s butt astride mine, even uninvited as it was
(though I am certain, that if the roles were reversed, you would not have felt
thusly about my own derriere on yours).
In any event, you should not act so exclusively nor
presume such airs, Robin, not only because it is unkind and unChristian,
but YOU never know what that person you snub so mightily might bring to your
life that could change your (ostensibly) curated, polished, and “perfect”
life... for the better.
You could miss out on something very valuable, very useful
to you, if you routinely shut down avenues of experience and information
such as these on a continued basis. Because by omitting someone’s presence in
your life, conversation, or even in your mental space, just because they
aren’t “cool” enough, or “popular” enough, or “good-looking” enough (which is
all it takes to be popular by my outside assessment) YOU are the one ultimately
denied. You are denied a life of variety and questioning (of YOU) and of a quality
that comes only from being open: open to all things, good and bad, ugly
and beautiful, popular and not.
I had a dream once, wherein I think you featured as some
sort of stand-in for a person of no real individuality or creativity, who never varied from
the “norm”. We were at some sort of life awards ceremony, and YOU were so very
angry at this event, because some other girl had worn the self-same dress as
you. Now, while other unpleasant things happened in this dream that pertain to me, I
interpret this happening to you here as your being just another
cookie-cutter, regular-person, proxy for every other “prom queen type” out
there; and upon realizing that this is not an original or unique identity, you
became incensed.
And so,
from every seemingly-disenfranchised,
maybe-not-so-attractive,
possibly-crazy,
but definitely frustrated by you (at some point)
outsider-weirdo-pariah,
to every good-time,
“beautiful”,
bitchy
prom queen,
please,
GET OVER YOURSELF;
and realize that we are ALL people, all God's children, worthy of love and attention and inclusion, and that the best of us lies not in our faces or our thinness or our well-appointed and well-heeled wardrobes, or our shmarmy charm and ability to manipulate the masses. Nor does what is greatest about people lie in our ability to ingratiate ourselves and please the crowd,
BUT
in our individual strength
and integrity and creative, differing world-views;
and that your denial of us only
makes YOU THE LESSER.
So thank you, Ms. Beck, and all other fuckwit, fake, vapid, shallow bitches, and goodnight.
And please, y'all...
tip your
waitresses.
SINCERELY,
And Yours Truly,
Macy Moore
AKA "Long Skirt Girl"
PS- I see that you have done something literary-adjacent with
your life and for this I applaud you; I always did like your annoying poem
about things that annoy you in our school’s literary magazine, Silent Voices. I also admired and enjoyed how its effect mirrored its message. More of that, please.😊
