Just a few things I've learned since turning 35 (not including to write cute thank you notes, don't do drugs, prep the ground and make sure of your foundation before you fight, focus on the day's numerology and act/speak/think accordingly, you can actually smell and hear God or the devil better than you can see them [and for that matter God often plays off the devil, turning "his" works into good], be punctual, media has many messages besides what it's obviously telling us, sometimes it's best to just get out of the way, old stuff is cooler [including people], and bitches are hard).
1) Don’t hurry and don’t worry.
I got this from Charlotte’s Web, the book. I think the spider says it to the pig. Pretty self-explanatory. Life is long (not short) and nothing’s “real”, so don’t sweat it. Take your time (because there's plenty of it) and don’t sit around expecting things to go badly (which is kinda what worrying is). That just projects that bad reality into your reality, so cease and desist. Do your best, and don’t freak out about anything, because you can always try again later (or in the next lifetime) and if you can’t, if it’s a one-shot thing, worrying or hurrying won’t help anyway.
2) Don’t be too fussed about opposite dichotomies.
Everything is on a spectrum. Male/Female. Good/Evil. Hot/Cold. It’s all whatever because it’s all the same thing, just expressed differently, or vibrating on a different frequency. If you’re super concerned about good and evil, light and dark, Heaven and hell, then yin yang that shit. Know that light lives in dark, and dark in light, and that, really, one begets and defines the other. At its extreme yin becomes yang and yang becomes yin, like how ice can burn and sunstroke sufferers shiver. For a personal example, I don’t super care if my food is hot or cold most of the time. I don’t really mind either way. Obviously, I have preferences with a few things, like ice cream should be cold (I hate ice cream), but other than that, it’s all whatever. Hot is good, cold is good, male is good, female is good, Heaven is good, and yes, sometimes, even Hell can be “good” (if it leads you out of purgatory or stasis or just the static nonsense of nonrealization).
3) Everything comes back.
The seasons may seem like they'll last forever, but they change eventually, and then they always come back around. The sun may set each night, but it rises every day as well. Leaves fall, the moon waxes and wanes, mushrooms pop up all over and then disappear: it all cycles, over and over, day in and day out, forever and ever, world without end. Even when people die, if they’re really for you, they’ll come back in another form; I call these people “projections”. Like, I “found” my grandmother, post mortem, in the lady down the street. She has my grandmother's energy and "look" and keen intelligence, the actual same carpet my grandmother had, and the same tendencies to be so, so kind, stay in the house, and feed EVERYONE. It can happen with living people, too; happens to me all the time. I “met” my “ex-girlfriend” again, recently, at the psych ward; I saw an "old teacher of mine" at a prayer circle a few Fridays ago; and my last boyfriend, my ex-fiancĂ©, was just another iteration of my high school boyfriend (may he live in unpeace). These “projections” can serve many purposes: to remind you why you left that person behind (and don’t need them anymore), to play the same role in your life as they did before, just (often) in an upgraded form (aka more appropriate for your life NOW), or to change your perception/experience of them this go around, allowing for more growth in the same direction, but not with *exactly* the same person.
4) It’s OK not to be OK. It’s also OK to take a break.
Sometimes shit’s hard. It’s ok to fall apart. Take your time and fling yourself to pieces the “right” way (with intention, direction, and an end in sight). Breaking down is often as beautiful as it is bittersweet, and the self-destruction pathos can provide you with the depth of empathy you’ll certainty need later. You gotta know what the wound is like to council/heal the other wounded. Plus, heartbreak and sorrow and pain are all great inspirers and producers (creativity-wise). As for non-breakdown times, it is also ok to chill once in a while. Taking a break makes you more productive: in Japan, it's ok to nap at your desk because they, like, expect you to work yourself to exhaustion regularly (and people actually do). If you just can't stand inactivity, then do something else productive other than the first productive thing you were doing. I clean, and write, and cook all at the same time sometimes because doing one is "taking a break" from the others.
5) The only things we really regret
are the risks we didn’t take.
I live a bit like this: BUT DID YOU DIE???
No, you didn’t; or maybe you did.
Either way, you’re welcome.
6) Make love as much as you can.
In other words: get it while the gettin’s good. Cuz it don’t stay that way, young’uns. Tits droop, dicks drop, libidos cool down, and it all happens faster than you'd like (or even notice). Fruit only lasts so long, so eat it while it’s plentiful. And eat whatever fruit you want, with whatever side/chaser you want, however you want, with whoever you want and who'll have you, too. If you want a chick with a strap-on to fuck you in the ass while you suck off another chick with a dick, and you’re all in chains, listening to Teletubby music, on acid, you know, go for it. It's not my thing, but if that’s what gets you going, I say more power to ya. Just as long as you’re all cool with it and you don’t wake the neighbors. The hell with “propriety” or the “law” or social mores in your own private life/space/relationship as long as no one is getting hurt or disturbed to excess. You’re welcome. You don’t want to look back on your life and say “Why didn’t I enjoy myself how I wanted to when I was still young and beautiful and capable?”. Because that can, and has, happened, and it is a special kind of devastating to realize that sex isn’t as good as it was anymore, and it never will be again. Making love is one of the most life-affirming, fun, healthy things you can do: not only is it exercise, it boosts your immune system, releases endorphins and we all know it's FUN, and feels good, and just makes life more worth it.
7) Plants, animals, and the sky tell the story.
You want to know what’s really going on in a place? Look at its plants. Are they thriving, dying, half-dead? Are there more flowers on the left (feminine side) or right (masculine side)? Are there dead trees, or trees with dead branches, or trees that have been hit by lightning? What kinds of flowers, trees, and bushes are there? (they all have meaning) What colors are these plants, what shapes, what smells, how are they growing? (these all have meaning too) Is the grass alive and beautiful green or dead and sad brown? In addition, what kids of animals do you see there? Are there birds (lovers), rabbits (also lovers), or dragonflies (flying dicks)? Deer (lovers), ladybugs (sex slaves), or lizards (negativity incarnate)? You want to know what a person is really like? Check out their animal(s). Are they thriving, dying, half-dead? What are their markings like on their left, right, head, belly, tail, legs, or arms? What color are they, how long is their fur, do they have fur? Are they chill, crazy, lazy, or likely to be violent? How does this person interact with their pet(s)? If you want specifics, cats are “feminine” as their domain is relationships, emotion, intuition, and the home. Dogs are “masculine” and govern things like your job, your outer personality, and your social side. Put bluntly, cats are your “invisible” face and dogs are your “visible” visage. In addition, the sky can be “read”. Symbolically, the sky is our shared mental space: air is the element of the mind and clouds are essentially water, the emotional element; so really the sky is like our communal mind and the ensuing emotions that arise from what we collectively "think". There are "evil" clouds and "holy, spirit, or angel" clouds just like there are "evil" and "holy" thoughts/emotions. It takes experience, attention, and pattern recognition to "read the sky", and, really, you need a connection to the divine to be sure, to really know what the sky “says”. But truly, there’s no better way to categorize a day, space, or time than the weather. And all these things, plants, animals, and sky, “paint a picture” of the local energy of a person, place, or time.
8) MOISTURIZE.
Fucking moisturize. Just do it. SERIOSULY, DO IT. Not only is it good for your skin, it feels good, and it’s good symbolism: you’re putting water (emotion) back into your skin (appearance/visage/exterior) for the purpose of preserving/prolonging your beauty (essentially self-care aka self-love). But, I must say, don’t put just anything on you skin. You want to avoid things that don’t “sink in” like mineral oil, or whatever phosphates are, or parabens, or whatever else there is that sucks for your skin. Look into it. Research your skin care products. Also, you don’t want to rep some asshole. Look into who is making your skin care. Maybe even where it's made. Recently, I bought Honest lavender lotion because it was on sale, but you know who makes that stuff? Jessica Alba. Now, I don’t super know about her, but I know that when I wear her lotion, I’m essentially putting her essence on my skin and “reping” her brand/movies/self. So yeah, moisturize, but be careful about whose moisture is sinking into your epidermis.
9) Make friends with the administration.
Whether it's the faculty, your church clergy, or the city council, they’re in on it. They know what’s up. And when push comes to shove and the shit hits the fan, they can help you outttttt. Plus, the gossip is juicier, they know about knowing, (like how to know, what to know, and who to know), and if you want to change things, they’re the ones who can make that happen. Plus it’s just plain fun, behind-the-scenes intrigue to "befriend the wizard".
10) Watch
for “convergence” and “double trouble”.
Life comes at you two ways: from the front and from behind. Or from both sides. Or from up and down. Ok, so life comes at you many ways, but my point is this: there is a sense of “convergence” and “double trouble” that I’ve noticed in (my) life. Often a good thing follows a bad thing and vice versa; sometimes they even arrive simultaneously. "Good" comes at the same time as "bad" because it has to: it’s a whole light/shadow balance thing and it’s basically unavoidable. Conversely, sometimes two good things come at the same time and sometimes two bad things come at the same time, which I call "double trouble". Idk why. They just do. It helps if you’re prepared. A note: sometimes you can create you're own "convergence"/"double trouble". Like, if something on tv is bothering you, you can pick up a trash magazine and read that and in some way, the two "negatives" cancel each other out energetically. Idk why this is either, but I do notice it makes me feel better to like, engage in two competing shitty things rather than pay attention to just one shitty thing. I guess two wrongs do make a right?
11) Book
covers lie AND tell the truth.
Yeah, so a book cover is going to tell you half the truth. It’s there to sell itself, for sure, but if you can “read between the lines” it’ll tell you the book’s “real” story, what archetypal narrative it’s "selling", and why. Like the ISBN number, if you know numerology, will tell you the actual story inside. The colors, symbols, and relative masculinity or femininity of the book cover also reveal the book’s story with the right kind of eyes. This is a metaphor, obviously, for people. If you know how to look, what a person is wearing (colors, numbers, letters, etc.); their jewelry and its metals, symbols, and stones; and even, to some degree, their physical, God-given features (or not, scars are pretty telling, too) all “paint a picture” of their personality, history, and perspective on life. But let me just say: “goodness” isn’t always “beautiful” nor is "ugliness" "bad". My favorite person from high school, the person I’ve kept up with the most, hung out with, and shared more with than any other since that "special" time, was like the ugliest, lamest, most omega girl in our grade. And, at the time, I kinda eschewed her; but now she’s like the only person from my graduating high school class I like, respect, and still talk to. Even my best friend from high school lost weight and became “more attractive” and now she’s a bit stuck up because of it. So yeah, book covers can "tell you the truth" if you know what to look for, but mostly they obfuscate the truth, or exaggerate it, and manipulate you into buying their book, just like people "convince you" to engage with them by wearing certain patterns, labels, or colors (or numbers, letters, and styles).
12) READ.
Freaking read. Do it. Do it all the time, every day, everywhere. Read it all: the newspaper, blogs, books, magazines, trade journals, zines, poetry, trash on the street, ALL OF IT. Read it all. Do it for yourself, your world, your kids, your partner, your neighbors. Read because it’s the best way to visit a place or time without being there, live a life that isn’t yours (unless it was), or just to feel something you wouldn’t ordinarily feel. Read if you’re lonely because not only does it "take you away from reality”, it’s like having a conversation with the author. Read because it makes you AWARE and gives you INFORMATION and PERSPECTIVE. Read because it’s good for you, and because it gives you new ideas and stories to inform and inspire your life, “broadening your horizons”. Read because it keeps you sharp and your mind active and probably wards off dementia. Read because it keeps you more alive.
13) Sex is currency?
I used to buy into this shit: how sexy I am determines how valuable I am, how much people pay attention to me, how much free shit I get. WHATEVER, man. All that ain’t it, and you figure that out by the later years in life, because things like how much others value you, their “attention”, and all your “stuff” just aren’t worth the fucking trouble after a certain point. And these aren’t nearly as valuable as how much you value yourself, the rewarding presence of God, and your “treasure in Heaven”.
14) It’s ok to be messy sometimes; but not, like, too messy, in all the places, or all the time.
Obviously, cleanliness IS next to godliness, because your space is a reflection not only of your mental space/mindset/attitude, but because it has a direct impact on your body (which is symbolized by your house/apartment/living quarters). Like, if you want to lose weight, throw shit out; if you want to get rid of cancer, look to where you have unnecessary stuff or clutter or anything that would represent this “mutant cell on a mission” in your environment; if you want to feel better about your life, self, or space, start by CLEANING. But, at the same time, it’s ok for stuff to be messy for a moment. If you knock over a vase or something, yes, pick it up, but if you don’t feel like doing that right away, don’t. It’s not going anywhere. No one cares (unless they do). Do what you like: if you feel like cleaning immediately, do that. If you don’t, don’t. Remember: you don’t have to do anything at all in life except eat, drink, and breathe (and, really, you can choose to not do those, too, if you want [to die]). You can even be selectively messy, to a degree: it's ok to have a "junk drawer", but not a "junk room", and certainly not a "junk floor", such as an entire, abandoned-to-trash basement. Anything uncared for and unattended to in a home speaks to your lack of will to change things in your life and a willingness to just give in to disrespecting and disregarding yourself. Honestly, it is best, for the best possible outcome in life, for your space to be reasonably ordered, clean, and to be Feng Shui appropriate/compliant/considered. (Read my post on it if you’re interested.) https://kartoonzoo.blogspot.com/2023/08/feng-shui.html
15) You ain’t gotta wear a bra, underwear, or makeup all the dang time (for the “ladies”).
YOU DON'T. You do not have to do these. That’s it. You just don’t have to. You can, and that’s fine. But you don’t have to. No one's holding a gun to your head, saying "Put those panties on or I'll shoot." And, honestly, some people will prefer you without makeup, most guys will "like it" if you don't wear a bra, and panties be damned if you don't feel like putting them on. Yeah, people may look at you (weird), but who cares? That’s their insane cross to bear if your appearance bothers them. Fuck it. Whatever. Be free. Not all the time, I’d say, there are definitely occasions where you should/need to engage in these social niceties, graces, and lubricants (like meeting parents, grandparents, or the Queen), but not every minute, of every day, everywhere you go. Not if you don’t want to. And let’s sit crooked and talk straight for a minute: every woman hates wearing a bra at some point, make up is a whole thing that takes time, money, and skill, and underwear needs buying, washing, and gives you panty lines. So, yeah, fuuuuuuck it (sometimes). Also, you ain't always gotta wear shoes all the dang time, either. It's good for you to walk barefoot on the earth: it offloads your excess electrical charge (look it up).
16) Don’t’ have a type.
Of anything. Have no preferences whatsoever, if you can. Choose what shows up. Not every time, obviously, because some of our subconscious's are a little insane (hell, some of our consciousness’s are insane), and will definitely send us some crazy realities, but, you know, within reason, don’t be too fussed about it all. The happiest people are not those who get what they want, but who want what they get. It’s all good and what you think you absolutely do not like/want/need you likely do. It’s often through the door that you refuse to open that your salvation lies.
17) Sometimes “good guys” are “bad guys”.
We all know them: the “perfect” preacher who is secretly spending church donations on male prostitutes, the “perfect” mother who sleeps with her daughter’s boyfriend, the “favorite” brother or sister who betrays you time and time again. The revered, venerated, "Christian" patriarch who slaps your ass, your mother’s favorite husband who rapes you every night, the uncle with all the money who is secretly killing women in his basement. Or the president who “gets all the votes” but whose policies work against most of his constituents, the movie star who is adored and lauded and looked up to but who won’t come out of the closet, or the singer who pushes the Illuminati agenda in subliminal ways in her songs and music videos but reps being an “outsider” and weird af and super duper creative or whatever. Not everything is what it seems. And really, we all know that.
18) Money, fame, and sex ain’t it.
You think all life is is getting stuff, getting laid, getting adoration/adored? Please. The shine on those surfaces wears off almost immediately. Orgasms end, money gets spent or stolen or goes to your progeny when you die, and do you know how annoying fame can be? Do you know how many people it has broken? How isolating it is? I bet you don’t, because you still want it. Some of the saddest, craziest, loneliest people I have ever met have also been the richest. Some of the least fulfilled, hollowest, most pleasureless people on the planet are those who get all the attention, are universally adored, and can lie with anyone they want. So let me tell you: worldly “treasures” like these are nothing to you on your death bed; just ask Steve Jobs, or, you know, read his last interview. The only things that matter at the end of your life are your experiences, the love you shared, the lives you changed, and how people will remember you when you’re gone.
19) Go out alone.
I know, it seems scary or embarrassing or antisocial, but once you get used to it, it is f-ing amazing. You don’t have to worry about if another person is having fun, or getting more or less attention than you, or anything about anyone else at all. You can just talk to whoever, whenever, however you want: no one is embarrassed by you or on your behalf, no one “doesn’t want to hang out with that (type of) person", no one is begging you to leave or bored with your conversation and dying to move on. Alone, you can make a new friend or even new friends, go home with them or make out with them or blow them in the bathroom for five minutes or an hour without worrying about what your counterpart is up to; or you can go to another location (with or without your new buddy/buddies) and start the adventure all over again. You can go wherever you want, stay as long as you desire, talk to whomever you like. It’s amazing.
A tip on solitary night excursions (for the "ladies"): look fucking incredible. Like, absolutely killer. Do fun, crazy, original stuff with your make-up, hair, and jewelry. Wear a hat, rainbow eyeliner, or a big fucking ring. Make people want to talk to you. Style, obvious (and even ostentatious) creativity, and artful art draw people in. If you still feel weird, wear sunglasses, even at night. People will be intrigued and no one can see your eyes so you can kinda "hide" (and you can certainly "creep" or watch the f outta people). Also, strike a careless pose and remember that no one looks dumb, crazy, or lonely when they're obviously having fun. And if you look like a sparkling diamond, it’s likely someone will comment on your clothes/hair bow/glitter lipstick and then you’re in! You talk to them, their friends, and their friends' friends and have a glorious night. Also, carry a knife. ;)
A tip on solitary daytime excursions (still mostly for the "ladies"): keep carrying that phallic something, like a good stick. Not only will it deter someone from fucking with you (they won’t) and if they do, you can just whack 'em, but it’s really good for lots of other things, like knocking down spider webs (a favorite pastime of mine). Also, get in there. Look around, go where the streets have no name, take the road less traveled. Check. It. All. Out. You never know what you’ll find: fun stuff like cool feathers, pretty birds, fantastic flowers, and beautiful pieces of glass/rock, or just interesting trash. But you can also find banging stuff like $100 on the ground, a new lover, or a new job/restaurant/house. You can also find illicit stuff like a cop getting head from a prostitute, a weird graveyard, or tires strewn across the train tracks. It’s all part and parcel of the going-out-alone and looking-the-fuck-around experience. You meet new people, see new stuff, experience strange shit. Don’t be afraid to go the extra mile, either, because you never know what extraordinary vista is around that corner, what interesting smell could inhabit that space just beyond reach, or what good ass stick you may find lying on the ground that you just couldn’t see if you had not come right up on it. The world is full of trashy treasures, forgotten fortunes, and abandoned aces just waiting to be found; and, if you’re lucky, the Universe will just plop down right in front of you what you needed but didn't know that you did (like a cat, a bike, or a boyfriend), or even something you've been searching for your whole life but could never find anywhere else. It'll just be there, like it was waiting for you: a surprise, surreal, story waiting to be told, and a memory that will last a lifetime.
You wanna know why Billie Eilish’s video for Bad Guy was so compelling? The video toggles between super static scenes and super dynamic scenes and the tension created by this juxtoposition translates into that compulsion to watch, that fascination, that “it” factor. She’s either standing completely still in basic bitch white, or rolling around on the floor in lurid florals: because sometimes you gotta move, or be loud, or brash, or insane; and sometimes you gotta stay still, and understated, and humble. Knowing which to do or be and when, can make or break your life/relationships/mentality. Sometimes in a conversation, you need to stay absolutely still as well as quiet, in order to give the other person “room” to speak, to reveal themselves, to “think”. Sometimes in a relationship, if things are all dumb and static and locked up, all you need to do is take a walk (you’d be shocked at how different an experience it is to walk a street you drive down every day), or have really vigorous sex, or just do something “wild” together; even if it’s just getting in the car and driving down a road you two have never been down before and both of you don’t know where it goes, or opening the dictionary and learning a new word, or just telling them something you’ve never told them (or anybody) before. Alternately, sometimes you must develop stasis or dynamics inside yourself. For example, if you get locked up or go the psych ward or are in any way confined, you gotta know how to be still inside your mind sometimes, or you’ll absolutely lose your shit. And at other times, you gotta know how to think thoughts you’ve never thought before, and create new realities inside your mind, and just be dynamically creative mentally. Sometimes life calls for dynamic movement and solutions, and sometimes it takes stillness and quiet to win the race, and sometimes it takes both. And you gotta know which is appropriate for what, when, and with whom.
21) SLOW DOWN.
Life
is not short, it’s long. So slow down and smell the roses, or the jasmine, or
the gardenia (my favorite scent). There are some things that can only be seen
at a saunter, and there are some things that can, or should, only be enjoyed
slowly. You think outside America they’re not super chillin'? Cuz they are,
young one. In Spain, New Zealand, and the Congo, they’re all so much slower; life
goes at a much less break-neck pace in places outside the frenzied US. Even in France, the train ticket guy
doesn’t give a fuck if you’re in a hurry because he’s not. Some things just take time. And there’s time. So, so much time. When you’re young, you gotta
have it NOW, you gotta be with that person IMMEDIATELY, you gotta get that job
RIGHT AWAY; but the older you get, the more you learn that it just doesn’t have
to be that way. Oftentimes, it just takes longer for something to get better,
or to be its best, or to be worth it at all, and that’s ok: it’s meant to be that way. So slow down, young
gun, there’s time for it all, and remember: for your cup to runeth over, it
must first be full, and don’t mind the dust on the bottle, because sometimes the
oldest things in life are the very best of all.
So, driving is a symbol of how you comport yourself in life: how you go through it, what you’re like as you walk your path, the general “form” of your agency. And I’ll just tell you now: it’s best to be gracious. Give people slack, time, and whatever else they need because, at some point, you’ll need it, too. And if you gave it to them then, it’ll come back to you when you need it. Road rage is for people who want everyone to be like them, who are unforgiving, and who can’t see from anyone else’s perspective. Go through life graciously, always be pleasant, and drive with grace, so that when you need grace, you’ll find it. Plus, you never know who’ll remember what about you and tell someone you know something you did at some time or another that will impact how that now-person sees or treats you a this moment. Make sure it’s all always positive by being gracious.
23) Look behind.
This translates into more than just “watch your back” or even “be aware of what you can’t see”. This is more along the lines of “discover the origin of things”. Look to what’s behind something: who’s paying for it, where does it come from, who made it/who’s idea was it? In addition, “they” often keep the best/worst things behind other things; like at a bar, I always do a lap around the place before I go in to check out the (often bad) magic that's behind it so I can change it, or at least be aware of what I'm walking into. Or, sometimes, in a store, someone has hidden the best thing behind other mediocre things. HOWEVER, don’t “trip over what’s behind you” by constantly looking back into the past, spending an inappropriate amount of time there, and/or wishing it all had turned out differently.
Make stuff. I cannot tell you how therapeutic it is to work with your hands/mind/soul creatively. Not only is it the closest we come to actually being God, creating makes you better at life. You’re more dexterous (if you work with your hands), better at problem solving, and you can literally make beauty. You don’t have to buy it, or pay someone else to make it for you, you can just do it yourself. Want a new piece of art? Make it. Want a new pillow? Make it. Want a new table/chair/bed? Make that shiz. So many people go through life destroying everything, consuming anything, and creating nothing. You wanna live that way? Cuz I don't: it feels so, so good to make something, know you made it, and then tell/show other people what you made. Plus, you’ve got it FOREVER (if you do a good job). That’s something they don’t tell you about art that, really, we all know: it sticks around. Paintings, statues, even literature/songs from Michelangelo, Bach, Frida, Shakespeare, Murasaki Shikibu, and Basquiat are all still with us, and probably always will be.
And creating things is expressive. You get to tell your story (exactly how you want to, with whatever "ending" you'd like), make your mark, and get whatever’s in you OUT; whether it’s lurking or dancing or sashaying it’s way out, it’s all coming out. And honestly, this can save you: creating can literally save your life/sanity/relationship(s) and whatever you don’t express, can kill you if you let it linger inside if it’s gnarly enough.
So make stuff, even if it’s “bad” or “ugly” or “wrong”; you don’t have to share it or like it or even look at it again, you can burn it or break it or crush it for all the world cares. Just get it out of you, and you’ll feel better than if you hadn’t, that is for sure, like a %100 guarantee, money back and everything. Harbor weird feeling for your mom? Paint, sing, or draw that shit and then let it go in a river. Want to stop thinking about an ex? Make a print of them and tear it to pieces. Want a new car? Write a short story about getting it and then illustrate it. You never know, it may come true (and is much more likely to than if you didn’t try to “manifest” it). MAKE ART, people, anything you want, for as long as you want, in any way your baby heart desires and you will just feel so much better, I PROMISE. <3
25) The Internet is cursed.
Yea, you heard me. I know you’re reading this ON THE INTERNET right now, but let me tell you, www and http are curses. If you turn them into their respective runes, they’re basically cursing our sex lives directly, or by displacing them onto the net (especially our pleasure: PORN, online dating, etc.). In addition, http also curses our agency by impeding our will to fight back against the system as well as the pleasures such endeavors give us. In a way, the Internet also curses our lives lived through the lenses of gender and the roles thereof. Plus the "bad guys" can just do anything they want to your "internet experience" at anytime they please for any purpose that suits them. It ain’t cool and I tell everyone who will listen.
26) LISTEN AND PAY ATTENTION.
People,
like, don’t do this nowadays. Everyone’s stuck in their phones, or thinking
about how they look, or wondering what other people are saying about them.
First of all, let me tell you, no one cares/thinks/talks about you because they’re too busy caring/talking/thinking
about themselves. Second of all,
there is a whole world out there (that the
internet/phoneland is actually based on), and it’s more amazing,
beautiful, and REAL than anything your dumb phone can show/find/make/or do. Do you
know how much more complex, charming, and captivating any person on the
street is than your phone? LISTEN TO THEM. How much more immediately
beautiful, intuitively made, and intentionally dynamic nature is than a
screen? LOOK AT IT. How much information is coded into a simple ad, tv
show, or book? PAY ATTENTION! Not only because real eyes realize real lies, but
because true eyes see the truth in the truest places. But you must listen
to, and pay attention to, and assimilate all that you experience to live life to the fullest. Life does not happen on a screen. The internet isn’t
“real”. And your life will literally pass you by as/if you pass it by,
looking at your phone, blind to the wonder
of it all all around you.
You think privacy is a thing?! HA! That’s so cute. Privacy hasn’t been a thing since the microphone was invented, since film came about, and since your phone had a camera. It’s a joke. We live in a panopticon. For those who don’t know, let’s just say it’s a state of constant surveillance “unknown” to the surveyed. Everything we say, do, need, desire, notice, “like” and (possibly) feel or dream or think is known, recorded, and filed away, likely to be sold to an ad agency. Its all very 1984/Thought Police/Minority Report (with the ads blaring out our subconscious desires to us) out here now. You wonder why you talk to someone about something and it shows up in your ads? Why you even think about something and it shows up in your ads? Why you dream about something and it shows up in your ads? We live in a panopticon, people, for realsies. But, hey, at least someone is watching, right? I feel like in our fame-obsessed cultural consciousness nowadays, this may appeal to a great many people. As for me, it's whatever: I don't mind. Go to art school and tell me you've got a problem being naked or overheard or watched excessively. Studio space is public in art school, people, and if you didn't film/paint yourself (naked) once in art school, you a) didn't really live and b) missed out on capturing your youth. ;)
28) Keep your credit good.
I was given this piece of advice when I was 19 and it has served me so, so well ever since. Not only because good credit is a good thing and helps smooth your pecuniary road at every financial turn, but because your good name is also important. You want to be known as a deadbeat who doesn’t pay their bills, child support, or debts? Nah, bro. That ain’t cool and we all know it. When someone lends you money, it’s not just a financial exchange, it’s a social contract, based on the fact that they “know” you’re a “good” “guy” and will pay them back. Your reputation, social standing, and future financial endeavors are all tied up in this transaction. In addition, as an aside, I’d like to add that charity is currency. The more you give, the more you get, and I know you’ve heard that before, but it’s so, so true. When you give someone what they need, what they ask for, or even what you feel they should have, not only does God smile on you, but karma remembers that act and boomerangs it back to you in due course. Plus, you’re literally making room in your aura/life/space for new things to come in when you give stuff away. So be as generous as you please (without whoring yourself out for love), because it all comes back to you tenfold, or threefold, or times seven or whatever. Also, don’t throw (usefulish) things away, cuz you really NEVER KNOW when you’ll need it, how you'll use it, or what larger purpose it will one day serve.
29) Nothing is as important as INTRApersonal skills.
Your first relationship in life isn't with your mother, or your father, or even your siblings; it's with YOURSELF. How you feel inside, how you motivate yourself or deter yourself, how you operate within yourself and work things out for yourself, and what you know about all that: these are probably some of the most important things you’ll EVER learn/develop/encounter in others and in yourself in life. These processes and principles are called INTRAPERSONAL SKILLS, and they can make or break you, cause your life to be Heaven or hell, and/or cause you to kill yourself or live the life of your dreams. So BE KIND TO YOURSELF. How you talk to yourself, how you function inside, what you prioritize in life, what you think you need/want, how you view yourself/others/the world, all have the greatest bearing on how you go through life and what you get out of it (or what you “call forth” from within it). If you call a thing tragedy or triumph, decide to decide now or later, or act on how you feel vs what you think about a thing, all matter so, so, so, so much. This, really, is what life is, where it happens, and how it breaks down: if your wires are all crossed inside, your “life wires" will also be crossed. If you can’t make up your mind, your life will reflect that and will be a muddled mess of inconsistency and chaos. If you blame everyone around you for your conditions, it’s likely your mind is filled with victim mentality, recursive negative thought patterns, and a “disempowered” self-status.
Because really, inside yourself, within your intrapersonal skills, is where your true perspective on life comes from, where your conflict resolution skills lie, where the wherewithal, gumption, and pluck to keep going in life when shit's all fucked and you gotta get back up after you get knocked down comes from. So, you know, get in there. Go deep. Think about how you think. Control your thoughts. (Really, this is rule #1) It may be hard, it may take practice, you may lose faith and think you’ll never learn “how to think”, but when you finally do, it’ll be so, so worth it. You will no longer be plagued by the “monkey mind”. You will intentionally direct your thoughts toward their highest good, at all times, under any condition (if you do it [aka learn it] right). When you make a decision, you will make it with regards to how you’ll feel about the outcome as well as any processes of rationale that could enhance that. And when you do things, you’ll do things for yourself first, because you’ll know that you, nor anyone, can’t pour from an empty vessel (although you can drink cha from an empty cup! ;).
30) Children are so, so, so crazy important.
I neither have kids, nor want kids, but that does not stop me from recognizing that the children are, indeed, our future. In fact, I had an abortion, (thank GOD; being pregnant was super painful for me because I was impregnated with the devil’s child, aka my high school boyfriend’s baby) and recentlyish, I had my tubes tied (also thank GOD and Aetna insurance and Dr. Fountain, a lovely gay man who took about 12 seconds to decide I was unfit for motherhood lol ;). I super knew I didn't want to give birth, directly be a mother to my own children, or unleash myself again in any way on this poor, unsuspecting world of ours LOL. Once (or every eon or so) is enough for everyone, and I am certainly enough for me. But that doesn’t stop me from caring so, so much about other people’s kids, and from following their pregnancies *a little too closely*. I even care about random kids on the street or in the park or at the library; even bad, “damaged”, annoying kids. They’re really my favorites. Yeah, “good” kids are great, but, you know, they're already “good”, so you don’t have to help change them, steer them in a different direction, and help them leave behind or never develop those bad habits/negative coping skills that could plague them the rest of their life. But yeah, I super care about my cousin’s kids (my kids), my friends’ kids, all the kids, really. And I believe, as Michelle Obama says, simply giving children our regard can change their lives. Just showing a child that someone else cares, someone besides the people who have to, can tell them that the world is ok, that they are ok, that it’s all going to be ok.
